Hey Conservatives, Let’s Talk About Sex!
Hello conservatives and right-wing voters, we’re here to have a discussion about your favorite topic - SEX! What’s that? You’d rather listen to nails dragging across a chalk board? Well too bad, we’re going to talk about this because many Americans have noticed your weird obsession with all things sex-related, and frankly it’s really weird and needs to addressed. Especially considering that there are FAR more pressing issues facing our country at the moment.
From abortion to gay marriage, conservative law makers seem determined to impose their influence on certain matters that should remain in the privacy of our bedrooms (all while claiming to want smaller government). When the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in all 50 states, you conservatives immediately started crying about how Christians were being oppressed because they were no longer allowed to discriminate against LGBT folks while using their “sincerely held religious beliefs” as justification. And then there were some of you who went really batshit crazy when you claimed that legalized gay marriage was the beginning of the “Christian holocaust.”
In case you guys aren’t aware, Just last year, Ireland, a country with a strong Christian population, legalized gay marriage with no negative results. From 2014 going as far back as 2000, many other industrialized countries also legalized gay marriage, including New Zealand, Sweden, Norway, the UK, Brazil, Canada, and the Netherlands, just to name a few. And so far, I haven’t heard of any Christian holocaust taking place in any of those nations. I don’t care if gay people get married because that’s not my concern and it shouldn’t be the government’s concern either.
Here’s another example that highlights conservative’s odd preoccupation with sex-related matters… Remember the Planned Parenthood videos that claimed to show P.P. employees discussing the sale of tissue from aborted fetuses? Oh what a fiasco that was! Right-wing Republicans screamed bloody murder, demanding that the government cease all funding of Planned Parenthood. In fact, the GOP threatened to block approval of the latest Federal budget if it contained any funding for P.P., which would have resulted in another government shutdown. Thankfully, a budget was passed at the last minute without the P.P. stipulation, thus averting a crisis.
Yet you conservatives still kept on screaming about the evils of Planned Parenthood and how those videos were proof that P.P. was up to no good. Never mind the fact that those videos were later determined to be fake, with the footage having been heavily edited to create a product that served the right-wing agenda. Also never mind the fact that the man who made those videos is now facing criminal charges because it was revealed that he used potentially illegal methods to obtain the footage in the first place. And lastly, never mind the fact that abortions account for less than ten percent of all services that Planned Parenthood provides.
But my point is that you conservatives were willing to risk another government shutdown all just to prevent women from getting abortions. Did you already forget what happened the last time we had a government shutdown? Our nation’s credit rating was downgraded! I find it bizarre that the most vocal anti-abortionists are old men who don’t have uteruses yet feel the need to dictate what women should be allowed to do with their bodies.
Another really telling example of conservatives’ skewed priorities is their never-ending crusade to ban pornography and the reason most often cited is to protect the children. Protect them from what? Discovering their natural curiosity about the human body? If you conservatives really want to protect children then start by passing reasonable gun control measures so criminals and mentally ill people can’t get their hands on assault rifles. We now have mass shootings almost every week and the majority of Americans support gun control. Yet even after Sandy Hook, the worst possible case scenario for gun violence, you conservatives still kept spouting that “from my cold dead hands” bullshit but when Janet Jackson had her famous wardrobe malfunction on national TV, you guys went crazy!
(NOTE: Just for the record, I’m not some anti-gun nut. I’ve been to shooting ranges and I’ve shot handguns and assault rifles before, including some of the same weapons used in mass shootings. I’m well aware of the destructive power that these weapons posses, which is why I support reasonable efforts to reduced the odds of those weapons ending up in the hands of people who shouldn’t have them.)
Now that is truly insane – believing that an uncensored penis or pair of breasts on TV will traumatize kids more than constantly hearing about the latest mass shooting. But if you right-wingers think Janet Jackson’s nipple is the worst thing you’ve ever seen, then you should see what kids in other industrialized countries are exposed to everyday. Here’s an example.
This is an album cover by the German pop band, E-rotic. Their music is popular throughout Western Europe, South America, and Japan. Now could you imagine a band like that trying to go mainstream in America? That wouldn’t last long because politicians like Rick Santorum would have a massive stroke. But it goes to show you that youth in foreign countries see nudity all the time and they seem perfectly well-adjusted, for the most part.
But perhaps the most disturbing example of Republican’s unhealthy obsession with sex is a recent bill, proposed by Virginia GOP law makers, that would require schools to verify children’s genders, via physical inspection, before allowing them to use designated restrooms. Do I really need to give a detailed analysis of just how creepy this sounds!? Don’t you conservatives in Virginia have anything better to worry about?
My point to this rant is basically this – conservatives, your priorities are totally screwed up! We’re still in the middle of a recession, youth unemployment is sky high, our infrastructure is crumbling, Wall St. is out of control, and we have a psychotic dictator across the Pacific who claims to have a nuclear weapon and threatens to use it on us at least once a month. But conservative politicians and voters are more preoccupied with keeping gays from getting married, preventing women from having abortions, and keeping little Johnny from discovering Playboy!
Conservatives, you want to know what I REALLY care about? I care about getting our economy back on track so that I will hopefully have good prospects of finding a decent job that pays enough for me to live on. I care about maintaining and updating our infrastructure so I won’t have to worry if the bridge I’m driving on is going to collapse and kill me. I care about keeping N. Korea from sending a nuclear missile our way. I don’t care if gays get married! I don’t care what women do with their bodies! And I sure as hell don’t care if kids see nudity on TV (because if they don’t see it on MTV they’ll eventually see it on the Discovery Channel)!
So there you have it, conservatives. Stop worrying about what people are doing in their bedrooms. Just fix the fucking economy, our roads & bridges, and make sure our shores & borders stay safe! Do that and you’ll do just fine.
– The Young Overviewer
- Countries That Have Legalized Gay Marriage (Time Magazine) – http://time.com/3937766/us-supreme-court-countries-same-sex-gay-marriage-legal/
- Virginia GOP Bill Would Require Schools to Verify Children’s Genitals Before Using Restrooms (RawStory) – http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/virginia-gop-bill-would-require-schools-to-verify-childrens-genitals-before-using-restroom/
Original Source: http://wp.me/p5NVgj-35